monday, monday, monday

I had my first night as in-hall. Basically that means that I walk through all suites once just to make sure everything's okay, I deal with whatever goes down in the middle of the night, and I open doors for kids who lock themselves out.
I had a monday night, should be a breeze right? Never is. It wasn't so bad, as it happened before I went to bed but still I don't like calling the police. and I don't like opening doors for people at 2 in the morning.
But so far, I still love this job.
My residents are adorable, and they like each other and i think most of them like me.

There's no heavier burden than a great potential.

As usual, I should be going to bed and not updating this blog but here I am!

Currently, I am a week into my training for my new job. I am a Resident Advisor (a.k.a RA) for the residential hall that I lived in last year.
My room is big and my bathroom is big, and the pay is good.
Training has been fun, really busy, but fun.
Highlights: Putting out a real fire, and hands on confrontation training.
Lowlights: listening about budgets, and the more lecture type training sessions.
I really like my small staff, there's about nine of us. We are already planning a program together.

My building is going to be decorated as a Peanuts theme. I'm hoping that everyone who moves in will like it.

I'm getting excited and anxious for the year to begin!

summer skin.

Every summer is different. This summer was so far the most different.

A lot is the same: I still can't control my temper, or my ever changing emotions. My family is still always going, always busy, always with anxiety, and always with sarcasm that is apparently love. My friends are still loud, happy, non-confrontational, and there's no use in trying to get any of us to shut up.
But there's so much change, I can't even wrap my mind around it. I'm fairly certain that's why I've been hiding, and pretending I'm not hiding. A lot of it is fear of change, and fear of admitting that I still have a lot of room to grow (I didn't just magically mature.)

This is a silly post. But that's because it's 2am and I can't sleep.

Here's to the nights we felt alive.

Today, I finished my last day of my first year of college.


This school year started out in September, and the first few days we moved in were meant to be getting used to dorm life and checking out campus. I spent those days meeting people and talking. One of the kids I meet, I no longer remember who said "College doesn't feel real yet, this feels like summer camp." Everyone agreed, but it was college. We all created our own groups, had drama, partied too hard, and stressed over classes. I really don't know when it happened, but I became a college student. We all did.

Now it's June and everything I brought is back in boxes, and my room is beginning to look like just a room again. It doesn't feel like anythings changed; I don't really feel that I've changed. I know I have. Well...I must have, right?

Today, I finished my first year of college; but I feel still can't shake the feeling that this was just summer camp.

Was that an acutal statement?

Today, I heard a girl say "I fucking shit assed that homework."
Did she realize that she made absolutely no sense?

I just wanted to point out that if that sentence is considered coherent in our society and culture then we have a serious problem.

Time to work on using correct language.

we can live like this

It's finals week again. Fall quarter finals week it was pouring rain. I was miserable, never left the building and did not want to go home.

It's now winter finals week, and the weather has turned to spring. I have spent the past two days on a blanket in the green field in front of my building with my friends, people I haven't talked to much all quarter, and people I wish I didn't have to talk to. It's made studying, well go less well but far more pleasant and its made me incredibly happy. I'm very ready to go home, even if I end up sleeping on a couch. I want to take advantage of the weather like I've been doing here.

Funny moments:
remembering how to do a cartwheel
laughing at the boys from the engineering building fail at their plan to make a slip and slide happen on the tarp they brought out. (same boys who often lay in a tent on the field)

Riverside is growing on me. Although, next finals week the weather may be radically different again.

"You're not the first to show up basically naked."

So this morning, I decided to sleep instead of going to gym. Major final on my part. I ended up waking up at 840 when I have a 940 class, I decided that i had time to shower so I took a ten minute shower (normally I take like 20 minute showers) and then I went back to my room wrapped in a towel. I then realized that I hadn't gone to the bathroom yet so I rushed to the bathroom and managed to pull my door shut. Locking it. Locking myself out of my room, only wrapped in a towel.
So angrily scurried over to the RSO (resident services office) to get a key to open my room. I'm annoyed, but it's kinda funny. They give me the key and I scurry back. But the key doesn't open the front door to my building. So I stand there for 15 minutes banging on the door only dressed in a towel, until my friend Kate comes and opens it. (she was on her way to breakfast, and normally I would be going with her.) So i run to my room open the door put clothes on and take the key back to the RSO. While crying because I was so frustrated.
Luckily, I managed to get to class on time.

What a way to start the week, right?

Majorly minor.

I've been thinking a lot about what I want to major in. I'm still undeclared, and pretty much in a hole of trying to decide what I want to major in, and what I want to do with my life career wise. I've narrowed my options down, but all of them lead me to the question: What will I do with that?
My options: Sociology, philosophy, psychology, and then possibly political science (after I take a class in it.) They all interest me, but I still don't want to commit to any of them.
Career? Well I know I want to read a lot, discuss life and readings (discuss can also be taken as argue), work with people, and not be in a cubicle. That's about it. So if you've got any suggestions, let me know because I'm in a stand still.

At an undeclared workshop they said, it's where your skills and ability come together. But I don't feel I have much of either.

"Laundry day, see you there, underthings, tumbling."

The laundry machines in my building aren't in the scary bottom floors like they show in movies, and on television, they are conveniently placed in the second floor in the common room where I simply walk up a flight of stairs.
At my house, my mother was always doing laundry to a point of obsession. I became accustomed to always having clean clothes without even realizing it. I did my own laundry often, so I knew how. So what was the big laundry change for me?
I now feel like i'm my laundry crazed mother, because I do my laundry once a week. Which is very unlike most of the people here. Everyone either waits as long as possible, (until they are out of underwear) or until they go home and they have their parent do a few huge loads. Not me, I can't handle waiting and having it all pile up, and not being able to wear certain things. I also don't have the means to transport all my laundry home. So I'm stuck in the little laundry room once a week, looking kind of weird to my most of my friends and encountering all sorts of little comments such as "You're always doing laundry, Emily." I just laugh it off, because it's not really a big deal.
I waited this week, till the last minute possible that I could handle. I get all my laundry sorted, check all the pockets, and carry the big laundry bag upstairs. I get everything into the machine, pour the detergent just to turn to the machine that I pay with.
It's broken.

see you next fall!

I was walking from class back to my dorm a different way then I'm used to. There wasn't a lot of people around.
Of course, I trip.
I start laughing to myself and looking around, at first I see no one then I see another girl walking and she catches my eye and laughs. Then another guy on the phone says
"Don't worry, we didn't see."

Are we okay?

I just got back from my Algebra class, with my teacher Jason Wong.
Okay, I don't find myself to the slightest bit racist, but Jason Wong is so Asian.
He had an accent, skinny, and glasses. He just really entertained me with his attempts at sarcasm.
After every problem he always asked with a very concerned look, "Are we okay?"
and on the board he wrote "keybored" not keyboard.

"You clearly know english better than me, if i can understand this word problem, you can too."

there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last.

I had a good start to the new year surrounded by friends, wearing a paper crown, drinking champagne, and laughing about who the heck came up with the idea of watching a ball drop once a year.

Resolutions?
Simply to feel good about myself, what i'm doing, and who i'm with.


Happy New Year, as always let's hope it's a good one.